Desperately Seeking...Something

Frm ABC:  President Obama Releases Birth Certificate to End Birther 'Silliness'    Wanted: white male seeks new conspiracy theory.  Must contain unverifiable suspicions about unsavory and/or illegal activities.  Electoral abuse preferred, but will accept alien abduction, magic bullets, romance with Bigfoot, or Loch Ness Monster.  Access to silent black helicopters a plus.  Please supply own tinfoil hat.  Contact Trump 2012 campaign.  Ask for Don.